Listen Up, Guys: 5 Physical Deal Breakers For Women

The 5 biggest turn-offs and how to fix them. You’re welcome.

-Lennie Ross

Men have their deal breakers and they usually go something like this: overweight, underweight, out of shape. Most men are looking for the perfect woman with the perfect face, the perfect abs, and the perfect perky breasts. My question to them is quite simply, “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

Women can be just as particular when it comes to physical deal breakers in a prospective partner. While we may be able to deal with little love handles or a receding hairline, there are some things we just cannot look past. Here are the top five physical deal breakers for women and how to fix them:

1. Bad Breath

Bad Breath is the number one thing women find repulsive in men, and 50-65 percent of people suffer from it. To keep her kissing you, use a Sonicare toothbrush to clean those hard to get places between teeth and under the gums, floss daily and brush within 20 min after eating EVERY time to avoid plaque and tartar build up. Use a tongue scraper with Breath RX or toothpaste to kill bacteria. Avoid mouthwash—it contains alcohol (alcohol=sugar=bacteria breeding ground). Quit smoking. If you’re doing all the above and still have problems, they could be coming from your stomach. Eat parsley before a date. The oils will neutralize bad breath. Also try taking a once-a-day acid reflux medication.

2. Greasy Skin

Excessively shiny skin can be a major turn off. No woman wants to rub her face up against an oil slick. Keep blotting papers handy to absorb oil and reduce shine or use a tissue. Use an oil-free toner after you wash your skin and exfoliate regularly. Consider monthly facials, maintain a healthy diet and drink plenty of water. If all else fails, consult your dermatologist—a little Botox might help reduce sweating.

3. Nasty Feet

Being manly doesn’t mean having feet that look and smell like moldy cheese. No woman wants to play footsie with rough, calloused, cracked feet. Toenails looking gnarly, cracked and raised? The likely cuprit is toe fungus. Even if you’ve never had a pedicure (tragic in itself), you can still have toe fungus. The good news? A three-month antibacterial regime can clear it up. For nails, drugstore clippers are not enough. Monthly pedicures will exfoliate and soften dry calloused skin and tame your toenails so you don’t scratch her in bed. Combat smell with charcoal anti-odor shoe inserts and soften calloused heels by rubbing Aquaphor all over your feet before you put on your socks and sneakers or use before bedtime.

4. Ugly Hands

Your hands are important to a woman (in more ways than one). She does not want you snagging her silk blouse or her stockings with your rough cuticles and jagged nails. Instead of chewing your cuticles, keep a cuticle oil/cream at your desk or in your car and apply regularly to keep the skin soft. Keep nails filed short so as not to look like an Asian drug lord. Heavy lifting at the gym? Use workout gloves to avoid callouses. Get a manicure once or twice a month and try a paraffin treatment to soften skin. Just be sure to opt out of the buffing/polish finish, unless you want to look like Tony Soprano. (You don’t.)

5. Excess Body Hair

Women abhor excess body hair on men as much as they do on themselves. If your chest hair extends to your back, consider laser hair removal or waxing. No woman wants to be the human weedeater when she’s going downtown. Every girl appreciates a little manscaping below the belt. Use an electric beard trimmer or, if you’re bold, wax it off for that porn star look. It will make you more sensitive and might just result in porn star sex! According to a famous Sex and the City episode, it will also make you look bigger. Don’t forget to invest in an electric nose/ear trimmer—only $14.99 at Bed Bath & Beyond. Bed Bath & Beyond It takes one AA battery and the handle could double as a vibrator!

Beauty treatments aren’t just for women anymore, guys. Do yourself a favor and give yourself a little beauty makeover before going out on the market.

Lennie Ross is a writer with a blog on dating in Los Angeles. She recently published a chick lit novel, called Blow Me, which is available on Amazon,  Barnes & Noble, and on her website www.lennieross.com.